**I placed this post here as a diary moment of sorts. I needed to write this down as a way that I could rejoice in my boys. There is no disrepect meant for girls**
This fourth of July for us was very ordinary. I loved it! I adore ordinary. Pictures will follow soon! I get my strength from the everyday-ness that is my life. It was wonderful to spend time with my family.
For a long time I mourned that there would never be another little girl in my life. A little girl that I mourned for a long time. I mourned that there would never be any more hair braiding, no more fun crafting (as only little girls can do-- with sparkles and stickers), and no more cute little outfits in my life. BUT this weekend I was able to watch and absorb having a little girl who was a little girl who loves pink, loves braids and was very girly. AND you know what... I didn't much care for it. Please don't misunderstand me. I adore my girls--both of them equally for all the gifts they have given me. I love them. I enjoyed every moment I had with them when they were little. I think I mourn for that period and I am sad that they grew up so fast more than anything else. I know so much more now-- I would be a "more perfect"-more creative, a more patient mother. I would be MORE!
I realized that I LOVE MY BOYS! I adore them. I love their splashing and dirt. This different way of life my husband and I have embarked on is such a rare joy. I love the way they smell -- fresh out of the shower smelling like dial soap and shampoo or sweaty from playing outside. The looks on their faces when they hold fish or worms is priceless. It is crazy what I have grown use to- not bathing them everyday, not worrying about if their outfits match or if their braids are even. For a long time, if asked I would say I didn't like the noise or the dirt that comes with my with boys. I didn't enjoy them. I was always thinking how to contain them! But watching life this weekend, I am so happy for my "lot" in this life. GOD knew what he was doing when he placed these four souls in my care. I am so glad I realize what I have right in front before they grew up and away from me! What a bounty I have!
This fourth of July for us was very ordinary. I loved it! I adore ordinary. Pictures will follow soon! I get my strength from the everyday-ness that is my life. It was wonderful to spend time with my family.
For a long time I mourned that there would never be another little girl in my life. A little girl that I mourned for a long time. I mourned that there would never be any more hair braiding, no more fun crafting (as only little girls can do-- with sparkles and stickers), and no more cute little outfits in my life. BUT this weekend I was able to watch and absorb having a little girl who was a little girl who loves pink, loves braids and was very girly. AND you know what... I didn't much care for it. Please don't misunderstand me. I adore my girls--both of them equally for all the gifts they have given me. I love them. I enjoyed every moment I had with them when they were little. I think I mourn for that period and I am sad that they grew up so fast more than anything else. I know so much more now-- I would be a "more perfect"-more creative, a more patient mother. I would be MORE!
I realized that I LOVE MY BOYS! I adore them. I love their splashing and dirt. This different way of life my husband and I have embarked on is such a rare joy. I love the way they smell -- fresh out of the shower smelling like dial soap and shampoo or sweaty from playing outside. The looks on their faces when they hold fish or worms is priceless. It is crazy what I have grown use to- not bathing them everyday, not worrying about if their outfits match or if their braids are even. For a long time, if asked I would say I didn't like the noise or the dirt that comes with my with boys. I didn't enjoy them. I was always thinking how to contain them! But watching life this weekend, I am so happy for my "lot" in this life. GOD knew what he was doing when he placed these four souls in my care. I am so glad I realize what I have right in front before they grew up and away from me! What a bounty I have!
Only a mother of many boys can totally understand this...or at least that is how I feel. I do have a girl, she is number four of six....and guess what, she wouldn't wear the girly things, she played softball and basketball, and still can take on all her brothers. She has never wanted to join me in the kitchen or the sewing room...she had her own room because she was the girl, but besides that and girly emotions/drama she was just one of them. Everyone says it is because she had three brothers before her...that isn't true, she entered the world that way.
ReplyDeleteI came from and was a true pink, sewing, craft, dancing girl...and God blessed me with boys and I get under the car hood with them, teach them construction...etc. God knew what He was doing.
Enjoy them...and believe it or not, you will miss them when they go into world...I only have two left.